119 Daleth

The fourth section of Psalm 119 continues with honest vulnerability- the fear and frustration that often accompanies a lived-out life.  "Come on, God!  You promised!  Don’t leave me hanging…" The psalmist cries.  And yet, as I noted in the asking and trusting post yesterday, at the heart of prayer that rises from within the mirey clay is an incredible, unfleeting trust that God is God and that God is good.  It’s this undying knowing… this unfazed understanding that "I am sticking with God because great is God’s faithfulness."  Psalm 121 points this out for us too: "Where does my help come from?  It comes from God, the Maker of heaven and earth." 

Does that seem foolish to you?  Does it seem silly to keep crying out to God during the hard times.  Does it seem ridiculous to trust and find assurance in the very One to whom you cry?  If you say "yes" – then go tell my 1 year old daughter she’s a fool!  Go ahead, I dare you.  Tell my little girl that her trust in me is stupid.  Go ahead and tell her to stop crying out, to just give up and curse her father.  As I write this line, she is in her room whimpering out to me- wondering where her food-supplying father could be and why he doesn’t give her what she wants right away! 

I think I’m nothing more than a 1 year old little girl, er, kid, when it comes to life and needs and crying out to God.  I’m afraid he’s going to let me down sometimes.  And yet, I trust that he won’t.  Is that stupid?  I don’t care if it is.  I’m going to keep wailing… and I’m going to keep trusting. 

Here’s Psalm 119 (daleth), verses 25-32 from The Message:

25-32 I’m feeling terrible—I couldn’t feel worse!
      Get me on my feet again. You promised, remember?
   When I told my story, you responded;
      train me well in your deep wisdom.
   Help me understand these things inside and out
      so I can ponder your miracle-wonders.
   My sad life’s dilapidated, a falling-down barn;
      build me up again by your Word.
   Barricade the road that goes Nowhere;
      grace me with your clear revelation.
   I choose the true road to Somewhere,
      I post your road signs at every curve and corner.
   I grasp and cling to whatever you tell me;
      God, don’t let me down!
   I’ll run the course you lay out for me
      if you’ll just show me how.

Other 119 posts: aleph, bet, gimel

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