Praying with the Simpsons: More

Here are some more Simpson prayers:

And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the
cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar, which is
just a pipe dream. Anyway, we’d like to thank you for the occasional
moments of peace and love our family has experienced. Well, not today,
but… You saw what happened! Oh, Lord, be honest! Are we the most
pathetic family in the universe or what! – Homer Simpson

Dear God,  We paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing. – Bart Simpson

The Lord is vengeful.  [falls to his knees]  Oh Spiteful One. Show me who to smite, and he shall be smoten! – Homer Simpson

Dear God, this is Marge Simpson.  If you stop this hurricane and save our family, we will be forever grateful and recommend you to all of our friends. – Marge Simpson

Oh, Lord, we thank Thee for giving our family one more crack at togetherness. – Homer Simpson

Dear Lord,
bless this humble meal, and did you hear about Krusty? Whoo, man! I
mean, I knew he was a player, but jeez! (Marge: Homer, that’s
not a prayer, that’s gossip.) Homer: Fine, I’ll just discuss heavenly
matters. So, how’s Maude Flanders doing up there? She playing the
field? Ooh, yeah, really? All those guys? [The rest of the family
gapes] Amen. -Homer Simpson

Well, Old Timer, I guess this is the end of the road.  I know I haven’t always been a good kid, but if I have to go to school tomorrow, I’ll fail the test and be held back.  I just need one more day to study, Lord.  I need your help… a teacher’s strike, a power failure, a blizzard… Anything that’ll cancel school tomorrow.  I know it’s asking a lot, but if anyone can do it, you can!  Thanking you in advance, Bart Simpson.  (By the way, God answers Bar’ts prayer with a blizzard.  Bart studies and passes and later proudly tells his dad, "Part of this D-minus belongs to God!) – Bart Simpson

I’m not much of a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman. – Homer Simpson

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