I don’t struggle with resentment or bitterness. Those two things can waltz into my heart without much of a fight. They seem almost like a natural fit… a natural response to wrong. Retaliation seems like the easy desire. Retribution seems like the simple reaction. I don’t have to be trained in resentment. It flows from me when I’ve been wronged. I don’t have to practice bitterness. It wells up within in me without much endurance on my part at all. I don’t need to work hard to be self-righteously angry. It comes easy for me.
I do struggle with forgiveness and grace. Those two things pierce my heart with a searing heat. They seem almost like a heavenly pummel… a counter-cultural response to wrong. Reconciliation seems like a hard desire. Mercy seems like a difficult reaction. I have to concentrate hard to offer forgiveness. It strains against my first inclinations when I’ve been wronged. I have to lay my pride aside to practice grace. It pulls down my selfish indignations only through a divinely determined endurance. I need to work hard to be forgiving and grace-full. It doesn’t come easy for me.
But the struggle is better for me.