Here’s a self-absorbed twist on the Lord’s Prayer:
Our Father in heaven,
May my name be praised.
May my kingdom come.
May my will be done on earth,
as it really ought to be in heaven.
Give me way more food than I could ever eat.
And forgive everyone else for not being like me… they can’t help it.
And lead others in to the temptation to yield to me.
And deliver them from evil only if it benefits me.
May mine be the glory, the honor, and the power forever.
Amen.