the addiction of arousal

The rather infamous Psychologist Philip Zimbardo recently gave a compelling, if not alarming, TED talk about the challenges boys face in terms of developing interactive relationships.  Boys are becoming addicted to arousal.  And like any addiction, it leads to an increased isolationism, confusion between porn and love, and difficulties in traditional, interactive settings.  There is much to be debated, but also much to be considered about the way that boys brains are being "digitally rewired."  He stated, "Guys prefer a synchronistic internet world to the spontaneous interaction of social relationships."

Ironically perhaps, as I'm mulling over the implications of half of a population that could increasingly struggle with fidelity, I'm reading the writings of Jean Vanier.  The founder of L'Arche, a network of homes and centers inhabited by people with dissabilities and caregivers, Vanier suggests that true life is found in the intimacy of true relationships and a loving embrace of people within community.

Ken Castor

Ken Castor is a husband, dad, pastor, writer and teacher. He serves as a professor at Crown College, Minnesota, where he equips students to pursue Jesus-Centered Faith and Next Generation Ministry. For 20+ years he's focused on equipping the next generations in places like the U.S., Canada, and Northern Ireland. He's the author of Grow Down (Simply Youth Ministry, 2014), Make a Difference (Broadstreet, 2016), the Blue-Letters Editor of the Jesus-Centered Bible (Group, 2015) and numerous other articles and Bible Study guides. But, whenever possible, he gets down on the floor and builds Lego with his kids. Connect with him @kencastor.

2 thoughts on “the addiction of arousal

  1. Thanks, Theoskaris, for the comment! Your last sentence is convicting… I’d love to think through the implications of this further with you.


  2. Ken, I love Vanier. I wonder if it is possible that the problem with our boys is that they don’t know what true community looks like? For many of them, their “community” is online (internet, gaming, etc.). As such, they only understand relationships in the sense of what gives me pleasure or fulfillment, not recognizing that often relationships also are demanding sacrifice on our part.
    Perhaps part of our job as youth workers is to help re-define community for males and then find creative ways to invite them into it.


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