Ode to Zachary!


Happy Birthday to my 5,844 day-old child (… don’t forget the 4 leap years if you try to do the math). So in honor of his great achievement of life, I thought I’d write him an embarrassing epic poem:

IMG_0623Zach is such a nice boy

he could have been viceroy

of Naboo or Athens or Troy

Look, he’s creative enough to enjoy

even the capital of Illinois

But he’d rather share what’s fair

and keep long his hair

and when he gives a prayer

he can stare down a bear

sitting down bare on a chair

or he might dare it to care

about the rare square pear

Yes, it’s his birthday true

but let’s clear up one view

Zach refused to live in a zoo

he hasn’t yet thrown poo

even if stuck on his shoe

But he’s a funny canadian born kid

so america begged him they did

and now both countries claim

some stock in his name

there is no shame

in international fame

So 16 years he’s been breathing

but only grumpy when teething

yet even then he was cute

and always ever astute

His first word at 1

as he looked to the sun

we thought it’d be “dooga” or “run”

or “momma” or “fun”

but instead he said “helicopter”

and there are no words to rhyme with that

and his last words at 15

were “recondite recondition”

or it could have been “gregarious peregrination”

or maybe it was “anachronistic catalytic fruition”

or something of that rendition

But no matter what he said last

today when he wakes to break fast

he’ll be an older age

out on the streets and out of the cage

and i think he will gauge

the world as his stage

and not his road rage

So long live my son

in the will of the One

Who knit you complete

from hairy head to stinky feet

May you live 160 more years

with incredibly blessed gears

helping the world and its peers

know God’s intention and cheers

You have made me so proud

And I’d say that out loud

or I might write a ridiculous poem

about you (not Jeroboam)

— love Dad (9/22/14)

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